the world is a better place because of You

2010-04-06T02:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Lord, i feel like my heart is cinstricted
up like a mini boa constrictor has wrapped itself
around my chest.

Please help me to breathe,

the everlasting breath of life
Adam received i now have
and i now live for.

your refreshing whisper-

2009-08-30T08:12:00.001-07:00

HoGc s 10th Anniversary
Pastor Hows Birthday Celebrations
and
Service with Pastor Phil Pringle.

these events made me realise something,

man who says cannot will forever be limited
to comfort zone.

when you have Jesus, it shows.
if it doesnt,
Jesus probably wasnt there in the first place.

declare the things that are not as though they were.
say the truth, not the facts.

95 percent of my life is determined by my subconscious.

a heart, dry and needy
a smile, fixed and fading
a mind, methodical and cold
a journey, come to a standstill

and You looked down from the heavens
and saw me for who i am
picked up the broken pieces
and made me whole again

Jesus,
Jet a'dore

2009-08-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

dear blog,
in 2 days time i ll be entering the gates of
my faculty in SMU not for fun/wild
orientation camps, but to start my
actual varsity studies and uni life!

wow.

2009-08-13T00:26:00.000-07:00

sometimes when you step out of your comfort zone
you find that you re able to do things

you never thought you could do before.

BONDUE CAMP 2009

2009-08-09T10:01:00.000-07:00

300! Spartans

1. Fight! for what they believe in
(freedom)

2. Think very differently from norm
(smiling during war)

3.Cream of the crop, Fight as ONE.
(united formation)

4. Strategaic and well-planned.
(position between mountains)

5. Laugh in adversity (aka certain death)
(arrows blot out the sun? we ll fight in the shade)

6. When attacked, Recover almost instantaeneously
(today, no Spartan dies)

7. Strike quickly!
(always kill the leader first in war)

8. Turn their deep pain, hurts into strengths and power
(son beheaded before father; latter becomes
deadlier, channels energy
to defeat enemies even faster)

9. No retreat,
No surrender,
This is the Spartan Law.

10. Lead humbly, wisely, passionately and by example
(Bold Leonidas)

this is what i have noted in the movie, 300!

a new level of thinking.

old mindsets to break, thoughts to change,
a new life to be lived for Christ.

2009-08-05T07:08:00.000-07:00

i had a really good day today;
the kind you d wanna remember for a longg time.

in the morning i was so excited;
i got up three time before 6.30am.

typed out my prepared speech;
picturing the scene.

twirled in my checkered grey into the streets
of cityhall, and met up with my ftb mates in school.

lunching in bk together, discussing camps and
courses between bites of turkey bacon. laughing out loud-

bidding for modules was an adrenalin rush.
laughing and comparing, we were calling out names
and auction monies between calling trusted sources;

headed to NY, buzzing with energy and excitement about the
speech.

the moment finally came.
we stepped on stage, the microphone in my hand.

as i spoke, i was aware of the audience warming up to
us both. it was incredible.

began to see my juniors in a new light.
we were freed and they still bound,
yet so close to freedom, it was tangible. 88days.

after we finished, still shell-shocked. hahas
i know this meant so much to yany-

walked around NY with Chand, talking together.
played the grand piano; a beautiful instrument.

headed home and talked with yany :)
hahas about work, school, camps, friends
had sweet malay kueh

bought a shirt! as i slowly walked home..

i was thankful.

it was a very good day :)

2009-08-01T23:54:00.000-07:00

a dream is like a spark.
fan it, and it turns into a flame.

leave it alone, and it dies.

Jesus used parables to teach his disciples.
Pastor How uses stories to amplify his message.

now i m gonna tell a story too.and its true!
i f'low! hahas =)
thats 'flow' and 'follow' together-

i just made my own copyright trademark! heh

anewaes:

yesterday i was at a bus-stop.
it was already late,
and i was looking forward to resting after a day of
ministry and hanging out with my cg =)

then four people alighted from a bus,
carrying luggages along. interesting, i thought.

about 1 minute later, they were still at the bus-stop
looking rather lost. i stopped reading my book,
and went over to ask a kindly old lady,
one of the group if they needed any help.

turns out they were looking for a particular hotel,
which i had no knowledge of;
brought them to the nearby mrt station in order
to ask for directions.

turns out they were tourists of a foreign land-
two of who lived in Spore a long time ago.

end of story: we found out roughly where it was
and decided to take a taxi, it would be about
the same if they were to take the mrt after all.

and i left, waving goodbye as i stepped into the
mrt station myself. the lady grabbed me and thanked me
for being such a great help.

i love it when these things like this happen =)

ps. there is no message, but i hope you re inspired
to look out for others who are in need of you,
one way or another.

good day =)

2009-07-31T18:40:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving of the Day
i love the way freeze-dried blueberries
spurt out that deep purple-red juice as i stir
them into my exciting bowl of hot rolled oats.

and have my morning cuppa tea with
The Straits Times. *bliss

life is funny in the sense that we live it,
but not quite the way we want it.

not rich enough, not good-looking enough,
not smart enough, not busy/free enough.

God IS a good God, and i shall not waste my energy
thinking about the things that could have been,

but the things that are gonna be.

2009-07-31T09:52:00.000-07:00

STOP your worries. :D

FOP was a blast!
Pastors' Messages and
the HOGC video were definite highlights.

lifechanging, it was.
thanks meixin ^^

2009-07-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

steady hands,

i ve got steady hands.

-paraquote Neil Humphreys

2009-07-26T20:44:00.000-07:00

i respect you,
chosen white honda civic.

with my foot gently but firmly gassing the
accelerator pedal,

we shall speed away to highway freedom-

for you,
a respite from a hard couple of hours of work,
and for me;

my shining Golden Traffic License. ;D

hahahas ok drama time over.

time for the solid stuff. =)

yesterday Pastor Lia preached about 3 'Dont lose's

Dont lose purity
Dont lose heart
Dont lose focus.

bambambam!

3 arrows to the mark, straight on the bulls eye.

to me, its was a clicking moment.
the kind when you have an empty space in your heart
and suddenly the message just fits right in.

click.

everything we do,
do it for Jesus.

click.

2009-07-24T22:29:00.000-07:00

i realise i have to be honest with myself.

there is a difference between servants and sons.

looking at role models in church such as Gareth,
Shu yi, FiFi and Fiona (and many many more)

i wonder-
how d they do it?

How d they strike such a clear cut balance between
studies, family, friends, activities, work

and church?

many people i know feel that church is not important-

going for church service every weekend already classifies
as 'holy'!

i wonder about that more now that i know i ll be entering
university life- a whole new ballgame.

in some ways,
i have always been hesistant to take up new roles in church

new roles meant more time in church, and less for everything else.

new roles meant a possibility that you ll sacrifice a lot more-

exam results, time with family and friends, money,
late nights, so on and so forth...

but looking at Heart of God church's role models-

i feel that something inside me has to change.

certainly we live our lives by our choices and decisions-
and through this fulfil a purpose.

something has to change.

is it my reflex action to hold back?
is it my reflex action to go:

Woahh!
hold on... lets look at what we have first..

then decide to fit in church activities into our schedule?

there has to be a balance somewhere.

im still looking for it.

2009-07-18T04:37:00.000-07:00

just ended my first camp of SMU
and had a super awesome fun time

was a humbling experience and cool one
at the same time;

group 6 rawks!
dont matter that we didnt win;

we re da bomb.

2009-07-12T19:11:00.000-07:00

the church from monday to friday.
it begins now.

=)

2009-07-05T17:48:00.000-07:00

i ve got to GO!
- Pastor Kent Munsey

i do love a good twist on wordplay.

for many, the sentence harks to mind the
frenzied budding entrepreneur,

bright-eyed and bushy-tailed
(somehow writing this cliche makes me smile)

scurrying to the next meeting appointment or
work appraisal.

however, there is a double meaning.

Pastor Kent pointed out that there are 5
battles to be won each time we reached a significant
breakthrough/ turning point in our lives.

1.Resistance
2.Rejection
3.Loneliness
4.Temptation
5.Discouragement.

i ve got to GO! symbolizes the urge
to fight the next new battle,

to step out of a comfort zone

to conquer a new territory and a new land.

its very easy to go into a
''poor-me, pity-me'' downward spiral in one s life

or adopt a hardened attitude
and become defensive to one and all you meet,

Job could have easily chosen anyone of these paths
but he didnt.

He held on
and he didnt realise it, but he was fighting.

and if he gave up and lost,

you could say that it was understandable,
given his dire circumstances.

he won.

2009-07-01T17:41:00.000-07:00

today i will harp on what i consider to be:

indecisiveness.

it means you dont know what you want.
it means you ll let people decide what for you-
whats good for you.
it means that you ll not leading your life,
it just means you re following someone else.

while i know this could be interpreted as
REBEL AGAINST ALL WHO DICTATE

i gotta say this: Do YOU know whats best for you?

eg. in class, your math teacher knows more about
summation of series than you. listen.
ask questions.

THEN if she s wrong, point out politely.

eg. at work, your boss might not know everything,
but he sure is paying you to do a job.

Be respectful and do a good job.

(i feel like im scolding myself now)

anyway,
back to decisions.

im not talking if you should ponder whether to have
unagi-don or katsu-don for lunch,

im talking about slightly bigger decisions.

decisions that involve higher risks, higher stakes.

for example; my simple dilemna between:

apple laptop or fujitsu laptop?

since my dad knows better (and he s paying)
his decision is final. its fujitsu, friends.

even the slightly deeper emotions:

a give-me or give-back mindset?

even-

=censored=

too bad. hahas =D

you get what i mean.

think about your decision,
your CONSEQUENCES, then act.

and when you do,
dont look back till its done.

2009-06-26T09:49:00.000-07:00

i just deleted an entire post about hypocrites.

with a blog tagline;
Glory Be To Him on High

it reminded me of what my instructor told me today

whatever you do reflects on us
and affects others\

so i wanted to set the record straight.

According to wordnet,
a Hypocrite is
a person who professes beliefs and opinions
that he or she does not hold in order to
conceal his or her real feelings or motives.

and think.

why would anyone do that?

to gain approval from others
, or to prevent ostracism i believe.

perhaps even for money, fame, personal wants
or what-have-you-temptations.

now think.

have you ever done that?

i think so.

guess its time we all stopped judgin'
and started lovin' instead.

2009-06-24T03:54:00.000-07:00

I GOT MY HANDPHONE BACKK =D

hahas PRAISE and THANK GOD,

and thanks to Ricky, YanPing and Facebook!

2009-06-20T19:00:00.000-07:00

i know losing your handphone isnt
the best feeling in the world.

which is why i m trying to sort my feelings out now.

may the person who took my phone really just be
a late nighter who sleeps late into the morning
so he can call me to return it asap and i would not be stuck
at home wondering when he will call.

my normal reaction would have been to go into a sorta
panic mode; worrying my brains out wondering
OMGoodnesswhenwilligetmyphonebaackk

but as Samantha says,

We have grown up.
Time to face real problems with Convictions, Values,
Decisions, and in the long run to shape: our Destiny.

believe it or not, small things do affect the big things

so while i could count the minutes till my house phone rings

i would rather spend my time on more meaningful activities
like reading Pastor Cho s books:
i bought three! hahahas =)

Devil Get Behind Me!
gonna focus on leaving the phone incident in God s hands
and if i get the good news

dear reader,
you ll have the privilege of definitely sharing my joy-

adios folks! ^^

2009-06-12T19:14:00.000-07:00

please leave your shoes at the door;
and enter into my world! =)

anewaes;
i went out with yany, ship and john yest!

we ate in the place of free-flowing coffee and ice-cream;
(kinda like the land of flowing milk and honey =D)
and it was awesome!

i believe my passion for fine cuisine is firing up..
the whole idea of just acia is a little
strange but the food tastes good...

a thailand reastaurant concept, slight western decor
with japanese dish-bowls, serving korean garnishes and
a chinese meal. (case to point: chinese steamed dumpling
rice set)..with free-flow coffee and ice-cream.

yeass..in summary: it suits Singapore =)

and despite not catching terminator salvation
and drag me to hell..

we ended up doing funny stuff instead
like lets-dress-lynn-up and
buying-the-perfect-silicone-earplugs =D

note to self: dress-up,BAD. hahas

yany was dressed impeccably as usual
ship was superr funny! hahas
and john as radical as always ^^

i learnt alot,
and i cherish this event for one of the finer things
in life money just cant buy.

2009-06-09T22:25:00.000-07:00

a beeg THANK YOU to
YIHUI and IRIS for enticing me out
at nine am in the morning to play badminton. :D

i srsly needed the exercise.

this is why i am not looking for a part time job.
this is why i am not looking for a part time job.
arghs.
gotta kill the little money making monster inside of
me that goes every morning;

''why dont i check the classifieds and see if there are
any temp jobs worth doing...''

which is kinda freaky considering
that when i was working
i was thinking of all the meaningful stuff
i could be doing
if i had more free time instead.

meaningful stuff like
commiting 100% to my tuition/school students
making peoples day by writing surprise cards
doing BM *beams at al fresco
reading my fave books
playing my piano more
catching up on my BRP! chapter erza!!
making brownies and volunteering
spending more time with my family and friends =)

alrights;
now to finish reading my nearly overdue novel!

2009-06-08T07:09:00.000-07:00

i must learn to focus on the good stuff.

the nice uncle taxi driver who chuang bus lane
just to pick me up and send me to tanglin-hurrah

teaming with ben,abi and ir together for the SYOG
volunteer meeting and going crazy together

( i concede, my mc skills need improvement.)

busing down with fah and chris to orchard

meeting up with my sis and her grp to sell flowers
and cookies for the SporeCancerSociety

and i met lots of nice people!

nice people who just wanted to donate sums of money
without taking anything

like the man who bought 5 cookies at a go, when he really
only meant to buy 1 =)

like the girl who bought a flower for her friend

like the dad who didnt want at first, but changed his mind
and got his son to buy a bouquets worth =)

like the couple who bought flowers together

like the many lovely people who bought stalks and bunches
of our handmade flowers

even the dudes who were on Flag Day!
we bought each others stuff hahas

of course it was draining work to face numerous rejection,
though on reflection
quite a good experience.

todays lesson learnt is:

when i step out of my comfort zone, i find out who i am,
and what i actually can be.

2009-06-03T06:32:00.000-07:00

my life has a purpose,

and everyday;

im trying to live it. =)

2009-05-28T09:11:00.000-07:00

THIS is what i miss about JC life.

anewaes;

am loving my life like todays.

i love it when life doesnt stop.

doing jobs i like to do; meeting and making friends

constantly, talking and laughing the hours away.

talking about hardware computer viruses with T

laughing my head off with Yany and Chris during brekkie

trying not to smile when i tell my students off for making too much

noise (honestly the stuff they come up with..)

chatting and getting to know the teachers better in the lounge

Ras saying she ll miss me cuz i wont be tutoring her for weeks

(AWw)

meeting my pri school principal by some twist of fate after getting lost

headg to the B zone Party!

super funny games, great food, just hanging out with my cg people

and new friends...

and also just being refreshed listening to Meix s stories..

my life is really just

Priceless. =)

2009-05-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

this is not in my hands,
but Yours.

2009-05-20T17:34:00.001-07:00

yesterday was my first (and only one) day as
a relief teacher;

and i am grateful for the opportunity.

it was definitely not easy,
and kudos to the teachers who go through school
everyday striving to build the leaders
and builders of our next generation. =)

looking on the bright side,

i m glad i went the extra mile.

yes my role was easy,
all i had to do was sit in a chair and made sure a
class of thirty-odd remained relatively quiet
for about an hour.

still it was amazing,
as i walked around class and talked to the students.

i was struck by the fact that
beneath the bored exterior,
these were teenagers who appreciated a teacher
willing to know and listen to them.

i was also pleasantly surprised by their skills and abilities
(pulling off magic tricks, their blunt honesty..)

more thoughts pouring out,
and i shall reflect on them myself.

was i strict enough as a teacher?
did i fulfil my duties whilst understanding and
building rapport with my students?

to be a relief teacher that one day;
was to be an role model and example to my students

what it was like to have grown up,
and be an adult one day.

2009-05-16T02:47:00.000-07:00

OMGOODNESS I DID IT.

SMU BUSINESS, HERE I COME!!!

ps. i know this is last minute and completely
unexpected from my previous NUS FASS choice,
thank you everyone who have supported me
and have made my uni dreams come true!

pss. sayonara NUS, i shall see you in my future
masters then! hello SMU, thank you so much for
giving me my first choice!! =DD

oh! and i must must blog about Timepieces,
NY's Drama production!!

went out with Yany and Nik yesterday;

and i had such an uber great time!

not only were the plays of such high calibre
and professionalism; they were
ALL CONSISTENTLY GOOD.

the best six bucks ever spent on a drama act!

of course being with the girls just made everything
ten times better =)
we just kept talking and updating each other
about the latest happenings and dreams!
Yany s got her dream course in her dream school
Nik's got a place in an uber superb school;
Congratulations you two! ^^

i think i m already starting to miss you guys =p

we even got invited by MR QUEK OUR PRINCIPAL
to join the mini-buffet as NY alumni!
hahas and it was great to talk to Chandhi again!
havent seen him in a real long while..
jia you for A s man!

then we went back for the finale ten minute piece
and i was simply blown away by
the love story of elvena and daniel(his real name
i forgot the stage one)

it was a beautiful night =)

2009-05-13T05:42:00.000-07:00

went out with joey today ;)

travelled up to school just to meet her and
ended up crashing her squash mates' awesome
resort house (i mean condominuim)

hung out with mela,mich,jas and jia h-
i admire their camaraderie together as a team.

we watched tv and movies together-
even helped in wrapping a birthday gift!

and then bus-ed home with joey.
really enjoyed talking together and
encouraging her in so many things! =)

looking back i was such a nervous wreck during
my A level days-
its wonderful to be able to support and help my
friends out now..

2009-05-12T08:39:00.001-07:00

today i went out with ven and gina
collected our sgcs from school
and talked with the teachers!
mrs ng ( i mean jennie) is so cool ;D
pple who have never taken h1/h2 bio in school
dont know what they re missing sometimes.

and talked to mr bong!
hahas he congratulated me for doing well
and i was really happy
never expected to get A for economics myself-
though praise God i did ^^

then got half soaked in the rain
trying to walk to the mrt under one umbrella
went to taka to have lunch and
just talked about all our plans and
opinions on the latest news

then gave tuition;
Ras is having her math paper tomorrow;
hope she gets about 70% this time!

and went shopping with my dad hehs

bought super lot of things including

air purifier
shorts
hair products
and
InDiAn RoJaK, to name a few ^^

havent eaten it in a long while
and tho i feel a slight sore throat coming-
it still tasted so good =)

watched Bolt! super funny and cyutee hahas
the animals are hilarious man

and of course the highlight of the day:

i got accepted into NUS! =D
oh happy dayy-

2009-05-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

RED RAIN;

what i like about them is that

they have the Heart.

how many good rock bands sing uplifting,

positive songs?

how many good rock bands share their life

story and experiences with their audience?

http://www.redrain.sg/

grab an umbrella,

we re gonna be singing in the Rain =)

2009-05-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

a week of surprises.
a weekend of miracles. =)

on saturday i roamed the stage on cam 2
the experience-
as author of [God is my CEO] puts it;

pressure weakens worldly leaders.
pressure strengthens godly leaders.

keyword: Pressure!
cam 4 was fun; but cam 2 was a whole new
ball game to be mastered within FIVE hours on sat.
to be honest;
all my fears and insecurities got the better of me
and i asked to be put back on cam 4 for service.

on hindsight,
i m thankful my leader didnt.

within 5 hours of handling cam 2,
i was up on service.

and i realise i have been taking for granted
livefeed cameras for wayy too longg.

what is done live on screen,
its better than performance art man.
but what is done behind the screen,
its hours of prep and gruelling run-throughs
prayers said and mental barriers challenged.

no wonder service rocks so much each time.

as can be imagined,
i enjoyed myself immensely this mothers day! =)
bought 2 tickets for me and my mum for
the Mothers Day High Tea-
and we had a great time just eating, talking to
the mothers and enjoying the service!

2009-05-03T07:27:00.000-07:00

i need a new mindset.

2009-04-28T06:47:00.000-07:00

after going through BMT (A),
life feels different now.

i want to plan and spend my time more
wisely.
i want to be a better person.

=)

2009-04-25T07:10:00.001-07:00

am back from church!
shall now blog about the amazing things happening

after giving tuition i bus-ed down and
had my first Livefeed Cam 4 ministry today-
which is super cool cuz i got to handle cam
equipment that was probably worth more than
my annual allowance

feel like blogging about how thankful i am
that John, Wendy, Bao S, Kelv, Shi H
and my church friends and cg mates were there
today to guide and support me in handling Cam 4
GRACIAS SENORS and SENORITAS ;)

i also feel like i helped make service a success! mm ^^
Pastor How also preached about how we need to
be salt and light of the world;
to love and care for people
around us,
instead of living in our little bubble worlds.

actually i dont think christians are
any better than non-christians
the only difference is that we believe in God and
His son Jesus Christ;
and that makes all the difference =)

then had dinner with my cg
[technically only drank green tea given to me by syl^^]
talked and chatted until we walked to buy
bubble tea and i bus-ed home.

the feeling of serenity and content-ness
lasted about 3 hours before my sister and i
had to scold and
practically uproot our 2nd sis from
sitting infront of the laptop for so long

i want my peace back =X

2009-04-21T09:12:00.000-07:00

i havent even blogged yet and
already i know the solution to my problems.
a good one-on-one QT with The King of the Universe.
(well yes aka King of Kings, Lord of Lords ^^ )

dont wanna say much aboutle tres bien
and le non-so-bien parts of my life
but i just wanna take this post to
chill, relax and reminisce about old times again.

Shes a girl of fine social upbringing-
Utterly honest, compassionate,
with an aura like a breath of fresh air

She is not judgemental,
nor does she let judgement affect her,
but stays true to herself.

shes smart, and hardworking-
and ready to slog for her dreams.

Her open musings bring a smile,
peals of laughter from closed lips.
when im around her,
i feel refreshed.

she does not try to change me,
but accepts mefor who i am.
i know i can trust her.
and gosh darn it; i miss her badly too.

dedicated to kav, my old friend. ^^

2009-04-17T02:30:00.000-07:00

some clips that put a smile on my face,
and i hope yours too =)

Susan Boyle and
Britains got talent!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY&feature=related

Nyjc juniors rocking the dance floor ^^
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vb9nnBAAmwk

visited two doctors today..
one inspired me to never return again
and the other inspired trust and respect;

who are none other than dr beng and his assistant!
amazingly they ve seen me grown from primary school
till now, through secondary school, then jc;
and now awaiting uni admission!

not surprisingly
they were really stressed for my surgery
cuz my pain would be like their pain;
after knowing me for so long! aww and good thing
they were so generous with the anaesthetic;
i barely felt a thing =)

i also realised;
it is very expensive visiting doctors.

health and good health insurance is very important-
but not as important as believing in Gods protection; peace
and that He can give you strength to overcome obstacles
and do all things. (Phillipians 4:13)

hahas also made friends with a lovely lady
sitting opposite me
when i was having lunch today!

think most Singaporeans are actually nice, normal people
but we tend to put on a tough mask-
kinda like a peanut.
first you have to break the shell, then you can see the nut.
she even offered me her chinese rojak!
hahas it was delicious ^^
dont know why but i seem to crave indian rojak now
since the food poisoning case in Geylang Serai.

sadly its gonna be a liquid-solid diet for me the next few days
maybe i should go on a porridge crusade and find
the best kind around ^^
( in my opinion- my grandmothers one)
and on a brighter note; now i can blend fruits into fruit juice!

by sunday i should be up and running;
i ve got BMT! =D

2009-04-14T06:24:00.000-07:00

my first thought:

nothing can make me unhappy for the whole week now =D

Thank You Lord, Pastors and Heart of God church!

now if all goes well, i ll cancel successfully my surgery on friday.

amen!

2009-04-08T21:07:00.000-07:00

if you can understand my philosophy,
good for you. =)

i want to be like a rock in the river of life,
not a water droplet.

the water droplet flows along with the river stream,
washed along with swift current,
caught up in the little anxieties and worries of life
too busy to appreciate the meander and waterfalls
of the river course.
too fixated on the small things in life
(maybe jostling for space/recognition with
other water droplets) to notice the
majestic trees, the little gazelle, the chirping of
birds and the call of varieties of wild animals
on the sides of the river.
when it comes to the end of its journey,
it is forgotten,
because it was just another drop of water in
the great wide ocean.

the rock in the river bed is different.
Craggy and hard at first, it flows along the river,
but slower, slow enough to appreciate and
admire Mother Natures' beautiful scenery.
it is steady, and is not easily pulled along with
the crowd, simply moving along the riverbed.
it changes the course of the river. not immediately,
but bump, by bump after continous rock behind it,
it widens the river,exaggerating the curves and turns.
Enlarging the drop pool of the waterfall, carving out
the ox- bow lake of a country river.
it changes lifes course.
last of all, it changes itself, serving a purpose.
slowly, the rock wears thin along the riverbed,
becoming smoother and smaller,
parts of it grinded to sediment on the riverbed.
soon, all that remains will be a stone,
or even pebble.
at the end of its journey,
it is small,
but content to have fulfilled its destiny in life
and very happy, thank you
to remain
in the bottom of the ocean.

i wonder if my revision of sec 4 geography
has anything to do with this. =)

also, Praise God for the revelation! ^^

2009-04-06T06:11:00.001-07:00

i cant hide anything from God,
He Knows Everything!

Psalm 20; 4-5

2009-03-30T22:59:00.000-07:00

what a morning~!

whipped up breakfast for my parents
grocery shopped with my mum at the wet market
PASSED my Final Theory Test (Driving)!! ^^
and finally settling for lunch with my cousin at Bishan.

hahas been doing a little soul searching with
the extra volunteering
time shaved off from the mornings,
and i conclude:

truly i am blessed!

blessed in every sense of the word. ^^

Thank God for
my wonderful health and youth
my dear family members and
my wonderful CG mates and ministry friends
my fantastic school (pri, sec and jc) friends
my job as a tuition teacher, to guide and coach
each and every student to the best of my ability.
my piano skills, and yes, my olde faithful brown piano
my commitments, the experiences volunteering
for so many organizations;
a teacher of the Christian Outreach for the Handicapped
a writer for Youth Habitat.com.sg
and an announcer for the Singapore Youth Olympic Games!
my driving skills on the circuit and main roads,
and driving instructors (bless them, patient souls ^^)
my interviews- to be selected by the great instituitions!
and not to forget the latest addition to the house:

a huge blaque hp computer!

can you feel my good vibes? =D
pass them on-
im feeling good, hope you are too~! ^^

2009-03-26T05:32:00.000-07:00

in some ways, unbelivably:

Thank God for my high fever.

yes, the pain was unbearable.
yes, my ears were buzzing.
yes, my reflexes were slower.
yes, i drank like a fish. (water, i drank water)
yes, my calves were aching (hello! im a fit
young person- this cant be happening)
and yes, when i took that double panadol shot
after hitting nearly 39.6 degrees

and Still went for the Nanyang Business School
interview at 8am
with a showered wet head and half-awake mind
and then a FREAK STORM occured-

i thought: *BLEEP*
(Disclaimer: no actual vulgarities said/ thought)

which didnt end until today.

so thank God for that.
and the ability to somehow think clearer,
speak clearer, listen better, when everything you do
is 3/2 times slower.

to even taste food better. (yes!)
e.g. the humble potato soup: with silvers of onions,
sweet carrots, light, starchy potatos, boiled to perfection.

to appreciate my mum more, and her ability to make
grated apples, sweet tomato salad, and mango chlorophyll drink.
all in the name of health i say. ^^

to treasure my health more. =)
not to go through the vicious cycle of despair and discomfort

and the Doctor, whose prescription and medicine
triumphs over my virus! hahas!

Thank God for GOD, always ^^

2009-03-23T23:19:00.000-07:00

revelations list:

During piano lesson:

1. when i tried to play for God, and not myself or
anyone else- i was amazed.
God wasn demanding perfection from me-
He just seemed to want me to enjoy playing
the piece and whenever i made a mistake;

i could just feel Him telling me;
its okay, go on!
wows. that lesson was so good my piano teacher never
went out of the room the entire song!

2. i must never deem something easy
until i become a master/professional at it.

but, practice makes perfect ja. =)

this one gets cooler:

3. you know i ve always laughed when i told people my
A level results really spelt the word ABBA?
(the eighties band)

well was at a COH teachers meeting when Al
pointed out a verse in the bible;
and a sentence caught my eye!

'Abba, Father'.

!!!
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear;
but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.

if this isnt subtle/obvious enough
i dont know what is.

illness finally culminated after three days with
high fever last night;

all i can say is:
Thank God for his grace, my mother and sisters, and Panadol. ^^

2009-03-21T06:29:00.000-07:00

i have a motto sentence:
*repeat after me*

[i am thoroughly convinced

that if people were to truly know me

they would like me.]

not that i desire everyone to fall

obsessively head over heels with who i am-

but that if i were just to be me;

they would find i m a good person after all.

its this line that gets me through some dark moods. ^^

2009-03-20T00:48:00.000-07:00

am back from the March Hols B Zone Chalet!^^

and what a chalet!!

it all started when debbie picked me up from cheers
and i ended up cycling along the park with my
cg mates!

seriously memorable stuff:

the barbeque was Awesomee.
helping out at the pit
left me with half zinged eyebrows;
but to the CG chefs/chef-tesses
its was a small price to pay in ensuring
our CG mates didnt eat half cooked/burnt
chicken wings, sotong, prawns,otah, sausages
crab sticks and pork! XD

then had impromtu praise and worship
sessions with hann,weiz, and even D-zoners
like jer and darr!
and then some more with noni,wenqi..
and then Some More with our leaders!!
(this one was so powerful everybody was
drawn into the living room to sing as well-
wows:) )

there was a most incredible sensation of
happiness; almost ethereal!
and i felt i understood what it was to be
''used by God''.
the term never hit me so hard until
i used only my voice to sing praise songs
and i felt just like an instrument-
used to glorify God!
and that feeling of joy, so strong that
i couldnt even explain it.

hung out with C and C ^^
2 lil incidents happened tt i will treasure as good
memories of the chalet.

then had brekkie with the CG girls and guys!
and where else to eat at 6 am in the morning
but our trusty perennial macs? ^^
had a great time just talking and
fellowshipping
till it was time to head back to our rooms.

played chess at least 5,6 times with a laptop

and then it was time to pack,
book out and leave! (all too soon)

i had a wonderful time. =)

*photos uploaded next time

2009-03-18T22:43:00.000-07:00

its a great feeling to have someone wish you
were there.

thanks birdy! ^^
(the chef from COH)

i ll be back.

2009-03-16T01:34:00.000-07:00

am so happy with my new silver ipod shuffle!
its so precious and small;
i gotta be careful not to crush or lose it.
THANK YOU HEART OF GOD CHURCH AND PASTORS!!

for which Academic Excellence could have never
come about ^^
and the person who handed me my gift was none other
than usher YongX, my junior in school!
it made me smile to think
i was inspiring my juniors in JC; just like my own
had been a source of strength and encouragement to me. =)

Pastor Paul Scallon preached really powerfully
on Sunday.. not just about the 15 minute revolution,
but everything he said about a growing a church s attitude.

to be able to love others,
just to spend 15 mins of ur day inconveiniencing yourself
and enriching the lives of people.

my 15 min revo today:
a bunch of students from the Girls Brigade came down
to COH today;
and we really had a great time together;
getting them to sing songs, play games with
the clients, and also having one-on-one interaction time!

think i helped them leave with a
better impression of helping the clients at COH-
and they had such fun they left
20 mins overtime! hahas

i also learnt how to fold origami boxes, hearts and cranes!

2009-03-11T23:02:00.000-07:00

*sings* life is great.
hahas!

life is also BUSY, but i love it anyways.

got featured in a great local mag, Seventeen.
(promoted WWW.YOUTHHABITAT.COM.SG)
gave tuition in Math+Science to my newest student.
(and now there were 3)
NUS Open House, uni admissions
Piano
Volunteering Commitments
(COH my biggest so far,YOG next!!)
Livefeed and Gen Bookstore responsibilities
SSDC Lessons
Birthday preparations
Bzone Chalet and Oversea Mission Trips (hopefully!)
AE Receipient! (Praise God! ^^)

and so many more...

my life is surely meant to be lived =)

2009-03-10T06:21:00.000-07:00

i seem to have a terrible aversion to people
who seem to fall directly into the Mean Girls type-

you know, the kind of people who
are good-looking, smart, and love to *femaledog/gossip?

yupps.

call it a childhood trauma memory,
but i vaguely recall being cowed by people like that before.

today i realised just how bad it affected me
as i was busing somewhere
and a bunch of school girls came on,
talking trash loud enough for everyone to hear.

needless to say,
the fact that their IQ seemed to match their L1R5
made a lasting impression on a reluctant spectator like me.
(they re from a local JC. JC!!)

and in a sentence;
it was awful.
all my dislike for bad-mouthing and stereotypes of
backstabbing bimbos seem to bubble beneath my grim exterior.

after they alighted,
i wondered if i was right to feel this way.

i had to remind myself to be less judgemental
(in order to love others more)

and see things from their point of view.

i imagine in their world-
peer approval must have been really important,
such that in order to fit in;

they had to resort to becoming such a person;
to win attention
to win approval and love from the people around them.

and then;
perhaps all i had to do was to
be a friend,
to help them believe in themselves
and believe in God,
who is Love Himself. =)

when someone spits on you,
do you get mad?

you get wet,
but you chose to get mad.

2009-03-08T07:26:00.000-07:00

He whispers into my ear
words that fall like honey into
my heart
its enough to give one the power to dream again
and the strength to spin these dreams into reality

we cannot follow the pale horse.

2009-03-07T05:13:00.000-08:00

one week of fretting and worrying-
and it has finally ended people;

the release of the A level resultss!!

if you really want to know how my day went
sit tight;
and repare to hear the complete story from a
very, very relieved 18 year old.

6th March 2009, Friday

wakes up in PJs feeling strangely at peace.
(praise God, He really takes away fear and gives faith)
sis says: Dont worry about it Lynn!!
me: i m not worried, dont know why.
brewed a Strong cup of tea and ate some bread
prepares outfit to wear to school and heads down to

COH! (Christian Outreach for the Handicapped)
we have a teachers meeting,
i finish BRP and
the clients start streaming in
to start the day with Praise and Worship! (my fave)
i sit in front and flash the song sheets on the projector.
i sing, but my throat seems to have got stuck;
my voice sounds a little strangled
Regina, a client under my care, asks if im okay(!!)
me: im good *tight smile*
(how she could tell i was under duress im not sure)
i help to serve water in the Luke classroom
P and Do talk with me while serving clients water
D: you ll get good results, the Lord blesses pple who..
(i couldnt hear e rest)
Eu, Mos wishes me good luck and all e best =)
Nik calls a few times, and we arrange to meet in sch later
i leave; when a lady sees me coming out and actually
asks if she can volunteer!
me: of course!

by the time i get to sch, Jo and Ja are there.
i put effort in dressing as alumni, and wear
red/white huge rose earrings, a hippy multi-face long shirt
and snug black jeans, complete with red pumps.

Jo s head is a complete buzz cut, like Ja s. XD
we talk, walk and meet Ms L! we talk about uni admissions
she s smiling a lot- a good sign.
then to the canteen, received lots of stares from juniors.
goes to meet nik! super happy to see her again ^^
we have a good lunch a la canteen mixed veggie rice
and talk soo much,
dreams, expectations, the past months..

check out the diff uni booths and meet up with
ver/mer! then meet sumai, yingy,losh,bal!
screamed and hugged like crazy-
then headed to the indian
cultural rm, our old hangout. took pics!

nik and i meet yany! shes making me nervous!
nostalgia inspired!
yany:
remember this is where we had our late night studies?=D
laughed and talked all e way to our other old hangout:
the ladies on floor 3. see jess!!
she says i look different =)
to the hall for principals talk! everyone s excited!
new paper bought by mr K! aww.
okay, now for overall cohort achievements!
on my right, im gripping yany s hand.
left, nik. im serious!
it was funny and tense.
alright!! 100% pass for..H2Bio!? woahh!! =D
the people of honour roll are called:100+ in total!

so many people i know!! my CCA Pugi,
my Class, my friends!! all so happy for them!!
(quite surprised i dont feel jealous; again Praise God ^^)
Yany s up too! wow!

me and nik head down- we make a pact to be there
for one anothers results! i see my teacher, and the papers
in front of her.
i just want to see my paper.
i see my name.
i see my results.
and for the second time in my life,
i start laughing, uncontrollably.
(first time, during my O levels)

i sign, grab the goodie bag and run away,
free.
freed.
intercongrats between me and peers and friends.
nik and i go collect her results.
i know i ve just been very blessed by God.

The description stops here.

my day continued,
read the pamplets and brochures,
gave tuition,
enjoyed a wonderfully prepared pan-fry DIY dinner

itwasan unforgettable day.

dont worry about tomorrow
just be real good today
the Lord is right besides you
to guide you all the way =)

2009-03-04T23:59:00.000-08:00

i did it to my sister, now i ll do it to myself:

BEST CASE SCENARIO:
I MAKE IT INTO NUS

worst case scenario:
i will go to the best private uni i can, overseas/local.

*fingers crossed, everyone!

oh and two bright highlights of the day:

i was given new responsibilities at the COH!
(art project coordinator)
i am allowed to be a relief teacher! awesome!!
i am allowed to qualify for e Gold NYAA!!

and last night was super fun-
after Livefeed Theory
Julius, MY, Bao S, Pam, and Char
had late night dinner/supper!

for the A level wannabe grads-
i think we went super high;
the kind of phenomenon when you know something
big(and bad?) could happen to you,
and you really just want to relax and
have the best time as much as poss hahas

its hard to stay gloomy when Jesus blesses you

and now to keep this last sentence in heart tomorrow:

Rest assured i (still) love you Lord
- Pastor Lia

2009-03-02T15:44:00.001-08:00

Praise God, Hallelujah!!

*pwoahhs/roarrs

the feeling of awe and peace is so strong every
Sunday, when every member of the
congregation is caught up in the flow of
praise and worship

every heart singing,
every voice ringing out loud...

can we still keep up that atmosphere of calm
and joy in us even after service is over?

this question
brings me back to my old secondary
school days,
when a close friend of mine told me
how she prayed she would keep up that same

spiritually fuel tank High level throughout the week

because it always seemed to go down,
and down
until it could be refilled again on Sunday.

same for me.
after helping out for the first time in COH
(Christian Outreach for the Handicapped)

i felt so refreshed and blessed!

on one hand, to interact with the
intellectually disabled on a first-hand basis

a HUGE shock at first;
at one glance, these are people others
would shun or cast a longg (not so nice) glance
towards,
but on the other hand, to meet
Regina, with such child-like innocence
Shaun, capable of 4 words in scrabble
Lin Han, who trains for the Paralympics..

these were adults limited
with a child's personality, but souls nonetheless!

i also felt so grateful
to be able to draw, play the piano, speak
coherently and read..

to do the simple things in life i took so
easily for granted!

to take Grade 8 Piano class after volunteering
to have Livefeed training with my leaders
and friends in church!

and yet, at the same time,
all it took was a little article at the end of the day:

A LEVEL RESULTS
Friday, 2.30pm at resp JCs-

to swing my moods back down to ground level again.

It was not a good feeling friends.

To KNOW your life is a thousand times blessed over
than so many others on a Daily Basis

and yet still Worry and Fear over what
the Future Holds!

Jesus is the light and salt of the world,

but if i am salt and i am light

the world could be a rather dim and bland place my friends

Thank God for GOD!!
Revelation: i gotta pray more!

2009-03-01T06:32:00.000-08:00

i feel as if the wall i ve been building my whole life;

i finally start seeing it in its true colours.

and now that i know its there,

i can begin tearing it down...

After the end of the Affluence to Influence 2009 today-

i realise how i used to be like Wendy.

Instead of having a low self esteem though, i have a protective
(or so i thought) layer over my insecurities.

This wall i call my pride.

its a wall afraid to let people in for fear of getting hurt,

for fear of feeling inferior,

for fear of being seen in my weaknesses.

thiswallimust breakthrough.

2009-02-18T06:59:00.000-08:00

what in blue blazes were you trying to achieve!?

L thought angrily to herself.

the poor beggar looks enviously at the average working man

the average working man wishes to be like his well-off colleague

the well-of colleague dreams of being his rich manager

the rich manager is jealous of his company's tycoon CEO

the tycoon CEO cant stand that his millionaire neighbour can
afford more branded cars than him

the millionaire neighbour secretly idolizes the billionaire at
the VVIP gala Victorian masquerade costume party

the billionaire wants to be the richest man in the world.

sometimes
we all feel like we want to be like somebody else./

the student from an elite top JC with a scholarship to Oxford

the friend who splurges on hundred-dollar fashion apparell

the popular cheerleader or six-pack handsome athlete with
a loyal clique and the rest of the school following them

(okay this is completely plagarized from the typical US
teenage novel but L knows you get her point, non?)

would that really make us happy?

ps. interestingly,
the richest man in the world does not covet money.
(for ONE particular 'richest-man-in-the-world')

in fact,
he and his wife, Melinda Gates planned, and have already donated
a large sum of their stupendous fortune to various charities,

leaving a much smaller, but tidy inheritance for their children.

L knows that God made each and everyone one of us unique,
just the way we are.

remember,
sometimes its better to believe, and just be ourselves.

2009-02-17T06:02:00.000-08:00

L felt like her life had slowly evolved to impersonate
a wonderfully fictional fairy tale in which she had no reason
to be in.
as if her very existence had become like that of a parable,
worthy of a story-teller to thread multi-coloured beads into an
enchanting, fashionable piece de resistance

just as mere words strung skilfully into sentences could have
the same effect

in the span of two short days
L experienced blessings beyond her wildest imagination

and yet in the span of just the last two seconds
L also realised that the true storyteller was not herself;

but someone of a much higher power, of an even greater position
above.

Like the masterful Sherlock Holmes invented by doctor-cum-author
Arthur Conan Doyle

Like the familiar Harry Potter raised by J.K Rowling that millions
have grown up with-

L knew the life of a character was not really hers to live;
but by the will of the Creator hinself.

now the paradox-
why would God then give His own works the freedom to choose?

but to create their own worthwhile stories;

and lives.

2009-02-14T00:20:00.000-08:00

It was the 14th of Feburary 2009,
or traditionally celebrated as Valentines Day
in countries all over the world.

L wondered why it just seemed to be another day.

the past weeks had been a flurry of activity,
with jewellery shops pulling out promotions
with a flourish;
bedazzling rare stones and gems
that promised to enrapture thy loved one's heart

flashy tv ads announcing that deliveries of
instant hot fastfood were equalvilent
to a declaration of affection

scores of too fuschia; too outlandish gifts
lined shelves that ranged from
imprinted messages or pictures on roses;
lacy lingerie or cute cartoon boxers.

newspapers too became matchmakers determined to
enrapture, entrance, ravish, thrill, and transport
newborn lovers
into their own sweet secret Land of Love.

L shook her brown hair, perturbed that admist the
festivities and merry-making;
not many seemed to remember
the story of a
young priest
who was persecuted for his love of Christ
and thrown into prison for his faith.

He was sentenced to death,
yet healed his jailer's daughter of her blindness.

The day he was to be executed,
he sent her a note and
signed it:

From Your Valentine.

L knew that today was going to be different,
candlelight dinner by the beach or not.

she spent it helping a friend set up a blogshop.
she spent it having lunch with loved ones.
she spent it re-decorating her room.
she spent it sending Valentine messages.
she spent it preparing pizza for dinner with her family.
and
it was quite a special day for L after all.

how did you spend your Valentines?